MORE HELP FOR SPOUSES
By H. David Morrow FuzzyGem@worldnet.att.net
© H. David Morrow ~ October 11, 2004
I have received a number of messages from geneaholic spouses who are 'up to here' with wearing their underwear inside-out because nothing is clean. They have had it with frozen dinners which come out of the microwave either undone or over-cooked. Some confessed they are simply tired of going to sleep alone while their mate studies birth certificate copies into the wee hours.
My advice to them has been: Get a temporary mate!
Lately I have discovered that some states have laws against having temporary mates while still being legally married. What's more, these states don't seem to care that there may be severe mitigating circumstances.
So it appears you will have to get a temporary divorce. As it happens, these requests come at a unique time for me. I have sent $30. to an organization that sent me an email which said a "U.S. based international ministry, wants to offer you ordination."
Once I receive my ordination certificate, I will be registered with them as a clergyman. I will, so their email says, be able to conduct funerals and weddings.
If I will be able to join two people, then it stands to reason I should be able to Unjoin two people. Therefore, for a small fee, I will be happy to send my fellow (fellowette) spouses a temporary divorce which will allow them to acquire a temporary mate.
I haven't finished designing the whole temporary divorce certificate, yet, but there doesn't seem to be a hurry. It's been nine weeks since I sent the money for my ordination papers... perhaps it got lost in the snail mail.
At any rate, here's the wording for the new certificate I'll be providing... after your payment of a small fee.
I'll let you know as soon as I get my clergy certificate (I've got to email those people!) and the Temporary Mate Certificates are printed and ready to go. While I will attempt to be reasonable in the pricing, you are advised to consider that I have to make a living, too. Besides, I have to pay to do something during all that time my wife is at the library and on the computer.